Where is your focus ;Is it on acadamic development alone?

Where is your focus ;Is it on academic development alone? 

In a few weeks our kids are going to start a next academic year. Are you thinking about how to improve your kids academic performance ?In my perception ,we should give much attention not only in academic skills but  in their psychosocial development, moral development and cognitive development too. What is the change you are expecting from your kid from born stage onwards. In this post, I would like to share with you how kids are changing their attitude from born stage to adult stage.

We must become the change we want to see.” — Mahatma Gandhi

"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still".(Chinese Proverb)

Human created by plasticity mechanism. Our life start and end by 0.yes,We are starting our life from egg (o shape) and ending with nothing (we are taking 0 worth while dying ).But in between 0 to 0,we are reaching in to different set of values.Some are trillions ,some are billions, millions ,thousands and etcs.I am not mentioning those numbers in term of money but in terms of doing worthy things to others. Yes, No matter What you earned but matters is what you did to others  .Any way  this is not my topic today. Today my topic is plasticity that how human life is changing throughout our life physically, mentally , behaviourally,  emotionally ,socially and etc.

  1.Psychosocial Development
“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.”-Herbert Otto
                              Psychosocial means how we are facing the social conditions .There are 8 stages of psychosocial development . In Each stage ,we will face some conflicts and we must resolve the conflicts before moving to the next stage.If we are not resolving the conflicts of current stage ,then we migh struggle to resolve next stage conflicts. So successful completion of each developmental tasks results in a sense of competence and healthy personality.

stage1
From Born to 2 year
The baby see this world is safe through her mother when baby get good responsive mother. The responsive mother is putting   basic foundation of self esteem  in baby stage

stage2
At 2 years
After 2 years ,toddler will start to select their dress (not  in a big level of selection but they do).When we respect their feeling that means not granting all the time ,her self esteem will get increase.

stage 3
At age 3 to 6
Preschoolers will start to choose their own things like dress,food,games when interacting with others.They will start to put small small goals.

stage 4

At age 6 to 12
Kids Will start to compare with peers. They will  try to take pride in their work .They might feel inferior or superior  because of their situation.

stage 5
At age 12 to 19
Teens will start to get sense of Who I am.They will start to know What I want to be.

stage 6
At age 20 to 40
Once they sensed about themselves then they want to make relationship.When the one understands himself in a right way ,he  might maintain and make good relationship.The one who done; have good positive concept,they might suffer in human relation.

stage 7
At age 40 to 60
By using who I am or by their ability ,they will start contribute to others.For example,raising kids,supporting parents.

stage 8
At age 60 to end of life
Feeling sense of satisfaction what we did good by our  efficacy or sense of failure that mean They will think "i would have been"

stage	age	Developmental task	description
1	0 to 1	Trust vs mistrust	Trust (or mistrust) that basic needs, such as nourishment and affection, will be met
2	1 to 3	Autonomy vs. shame/doubt	Develop a sense of independence in many tasks
3	3 to 6	Initiative vs. guilt	Take initiative on some activities—may develop guilt when unsuccessful or boundaries overstepped
4	7 to 11	Industry vs Inferiority	self-confidence in abilities when competent or sense of inferiority when not
5	12 to 18	Identity vs. confusion	Experiment with and develop identity and roles
6	19 to 29	Intimacy vs. isolation	Establish intimacy and relationships with others
7	30 to 64	Generativity vs. stagnation	Contribute to society and be part of a family
8	65 to	Integrity vs. despair	Assess and make sense of life and meaning of contributions

Cognitive development

What we think, we become.” – Buddha
What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill

As Buddha mentioned we can grow when we think about.When you change your negative thoughts into positive thoughts,then the result will be positive. When we change our  thoughts you can change the world.All  Cognition or thoughts are not only depends on  what we are learning  but it is according to our age, hormones ,genetics, surroundings too .For example adolescent thoughts are different than kids .In each stage,we will have change in our thoughts. Our  Thoughts is developing  from infancy stage to grave .You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you
                                 
There are 4 stages of cognitive development from born baby to adult .

Stage1 Born Baby
New born baby don't have any thoughts.They will go to everyone even to the stranger too.
Month baby
 Generally some month ,they don't go to stranger.They will cry to show their fear when                 new people approach near to them.

Stage 2
At age  2 -6
They will start to play pretend game.They don't look for logic.They think everything in their perspective.

Stage 3
At age 7 to 11
They will start to understand logic not big logic.They will learn logic of multiplication,division,geometry .

stage 4
At age 12 to 25
They desperately search for logic.This period is very good in creative intelligence.They will show interest in solving problems,alternate .It is the stage creative blooming stage.

Stage 5
Adult stage
They too show their interest in problem solving but in different way not like adolescent age.They will solve problem in concern of  family ,work ,security .

Age	stage	Description	Developmental issues
0–2	Sensorimotor	World experienced through senses and actions	Object permanence Stranger anxiety
2–6	Preoperational Use	words and images to represent things, but lack logical reasoning	Pretend play Egocentrism Language development
7–11	Concrete operational	Understand concrete events and analogies logically; perform arithmetical operations	Conservation Mathematical transformation
12– 25	Formal operational	Formal operations Utilize abstract reasoning	abstract reasoning Abstract logic Moral reasoning

Moral development
 Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
— Helen Keller (Political activist)

Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.”
— Bruce Lee

Yes,moral values   are important than knowledge.You don't gather knowledge means you are hurting yourself  but you don't have good moral value means you are hurting the people around you . According to age ,our moral values are keep changing. There are 6 stage of moral development. For example,Kids moral values are different than the adult stage.Lets go through moral development

Stage 1 -age 2 to 6
 In this stage kids really don't think about morality but they does good behaviour because of reinforcement.( reinforcement means punishment or rewards).eg.I will share toys otherwise mom will give time out.

Stage 2-Age 6 to 12
  In this stage kids start to understand the moral principle.That means they can  understand that sharing is caring and rewards too helps.
eg.If I share ,she could be my friend or If i don't share ,she will get hurt.

Stage 3 - Age  13 to 19
In adolescent stage,they will start to show their interpersonal skill.They will behave according to their own interpersonal character.Rewards and punishment doesn't work much.
eg.I like to help my friend because I am kind.

Stage 4  -Age 20 to 25
In this stage they will start to learn or follow principle because of authority and for social order.
eg.I need to share knowledge transition to work for a project .

stage 5-Age 25 to 40
In this stage people balance  between social order and individual rights.
eg. I will donate money to the  poor family in my society  as my society does but according to my wish.

Stage 6- Age 40 to untill death
They will look for universal truth.They will start to balance between internal moral principle and eternal moral principle.

stage	age	development
1	age 2 to 6	Obedience and punishment
2	age 6 to 12	Individual interest
3	age 13 to 19	Interpersonal
4	age 20 to  25	Authority
5	age 25 to 40	Social contract
6	age 40 to until death	Universal ethics

Questions to think as a parent

1.Are your kids struggling to resolve their stage conflicts in psychosocial development? click here
2.Are you giving enough attention in your kids moral,social development ?click here
3.How can you support them to move to solve their conflicts in their own stage?
4. Are you giving time and freedom to find their identity?click here
5.What are the persuasion methods you are following with your kids?click here

Note
Are you a parent of teenager, click here 
Are you a college student or in adult stage , click here


Reference
The book of Psychology ;Open stax college; Rice University


            

Are looking for a job or career or calling

Are you looking for a job or career or calling

In my perception, may month is the month of decision taking about what to take next step in academic progression. More over this month is the transition month for the college graduates to choose their career. I would like to give some suggestion about how to choose your occupation for high schoolers and fresh graduates.
                     
Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. (Steve Jobs )

 Generally  we will ask our kids that What you want to be in future. When I was primary school student ,I used to tell I want to be a Doctor. After a quite long period during my high school I have started  to tell I want to be a Scientist in physics. Then when I was doing my engineering,  I have told I want to become a software Engineer . Finally I became an engineer ,I got a job and I developed my skill sets by my career. But still I want something else more than a job ,more than a career. What is that?                 

 I  have found an answer from the video Lecture of success by Wharton School (University of Pennsylvania).Yes; I need  my job as well as career as well as calling too.

 According to dictionary ,definition of job is a specific task done as part of the routine of one's occupation or for an agreed price.Yes, we need to work to earn a money.Everyone need money to survive our life.So job is the essential part of our life.

The next step is Career. Career is series of job. According  to wiki,  A career is an individuals metaphorical "journey" through learning, work and other aspects of life. Our  life should be progressive in our skill through learning. So career is a stepping stone for our own life. Choose a career you like then you never have a work in your life (Chinese philosopher)

 But I want to be a stepping stone to others life too. That means next step of career.That is calling.According to free dictionary.com ,calling is a strong inner urge to follow an occupation.We need to find the inner urge.Each person's inner urge is unique. When your career fulfill your inner urge,you could find your joy. Without inner satisfaction,there can be no freedom;without freedom there can be no joy.People might  think priest are doing their calling .In my personal view all the job has unique meaning.We need to give meaning to our job and  career .Then it will become a calling for us.

In my perception, All the professions are precious when you do by your own soul ,mind and body. That means when you work in the sweet spot of merging job ,career and calling together, then your profession  will be a  interesting journey. When your work in the sweet spot, then you will get salary of joyful life.

The perfect job not only give money but joyful life.I have learned perfect job definition from Wharton school success video Lecture. Perfect job make your life perfect too.
So Expansion of perfect is,

P -Personal Learning and development
 One's occupation should give opportunity to learn their new skill as well as It has to give a  path to develop their knowledge along the job.
For example
      For a professor job  they need to get the opportunity to do their research.

E  - Entrepreneurial control and  Autonomy
The employee should aware about the structure of their organization as well as they need to know about their part in the growth of organization.
  For Example,
      If you a lab assistant in a Electronics Lab in a college,U should aware about how much responsible you have to a student to get the right apparatus.

Religious or Philosophical value
 You need to give religious value or meaning to your work.
For example
      If you are working  as a accountant in a drug company,then you might give religious  value that I am indirectly helping people to live healthy.

F -Family Thriving
You need to get quality of time to spend time with your family.Because Family relationship is the back bone of your life

Expressiveness 
You should able to express your creative idea to your organization.
For example,If you get an idea about increase productivity,Then you should able to express the idea in your organization.

C - Community
you should be able to make relationship among the co workers.
For example if you are working in a college as woman, you  should be able to be part in a women's group in the same organization.

T - Talent
You get the opportunity to use your talents in  a optimum way.

In my perception,

Perfect job makes your life perfect too.

Key of success

                                       Key of success
We can not find our happiness anywhere but it is within  us by our  action. Happiness is not a postponing action, it is the action of present. The good thing in our life is just enjoy our present moment. This moment is our life. We should practice to appreciate small small  things,because 1000's of small things are making  a big thing. The Curve of smile make your life straight. Yes ;not better knowledge give happiness but better attitude. When you focus on what you have rather than what you don't have, then  you could  find your happiness.

I  have wondered that Happiness definition has been changing  over the time.

At 500 BC -Happiness is defined in terms of dignity
At 400BC -Happiness is equal to peacefulness
At 300BC- Happiness depends on our self (Aristotle)
At 10th century -Happiness is measured in terms of knowledge of spirituality
At 16th century - Happiness defined in terms of outcome of their effort
At 19th century - Happiness is defined by doing actions

 In 21st century,happiness is defined in terms of success.People are thinking that getting  success make them  happy. But in my view, Being happy make you to get success.The more happy you are can achieve success more.

Happy people might give 30% more sales in their organization.

They could be 3 times more creative.

31% more productive.

19% more accurate.

10% more engaged.

Happier people are more productive and more healthier. So in my perception ,happiness is the key of success. 

Special note when you thrive for success

When we thrive for a success, we might fall  into traps of success. I recognized four traps of success.

Greedy

Some people don't feel satisfaction at all in whatever they achieve. They  want to become  more and more famous. They  want to become wealthy more and more. They feel always hunger for fame and wealth. Stay hunger will pull you in the the  big trap of unhappiness.

Unmatched Pond

When we choose a pond which is very bigger than what you really need ,then we are falling into an inferior  thoughts of  trap .Sometimes when you see highly qualified people only around you ,then it will give you inferior thoughts that pull you in to the trap of unhappiness.

Copying other's goal

Sometimes we will follow other's goal blindly.Each people strengths are unique. For example after seeing Dhoni's  cricket excellence, you may put effort to become like him without analyzing your own strength. That means you are simply copying other's success in your life which might lead you to fall into the trap of unhappiness. When we work towards our own  goal  then it makes us happy.

Time to Think

1.Are you in a right pond of success?.

    refer here to find your right pond

2.Are you balancing your inner joy and success?

Refer here to find your success and joy balance

3.How to get the key of success?

Click here to find the recipe of happiness

All the best to use your right  key to get the treasure of success!

How are you running in a race of life

How  are you running in a  race of life

"As every runner knows, running is about more than just putting one foot in front of the other; it is about our lifestyle and who we are."
- Joan Benoit Samuelson (American Marathon Champion).

Life is like a marathon. Everyone is running in their own track to reach their goal.. But how they are running is what matters. I have learned two kinds of running in my life.

Running away from the fear

One time I had a plan to go to leasing office from my home by walk. While going on the way ,one goose started to chase me, so I have started running back to my home. Yes. I ran really hard  but in the wrong direction because of my fear  .In the same way people are running in their life just to get rid of the fear or problem  instead of running towards the goal.
When you run with fear, instead of taking two steps forward you may either take one step back or change the direction.

Running towards a goal

Next time I fixed my problem(goose chasing) before I start .So I reached my destination in a right time. So solving problem is important to reach your target.

 How to solve a problem
If I had a 60 minutes to solve the problem ,I spend 55 minutes to define the problem and 5 minutes to solve the problem.  The formulation of the problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill"

Albert Einstein

You need to understand the problem and the roots of problem first before you find the solution.I would like to share with you all about 3 strategies to solve problem.

 1.Trial and error strategy
 A trial-and-error approach means trying a number of different solutions and ruling out those that do not work. It will work only when you have less option. Otherwise you need to narrow the options first then you could use this strategies.

2.Algorithm
 This strategy is a step-by-step procedure that will always produce a correct solution.
For example using instruction manual for new software installation.

3.Heuristics
A heuristic is a mental shortcut that allows people to solve problems and make judgments quickly and efficiently. This strategy will  shorten the decision-making time and allow people to function without constantly stopping to think about their next course of action. That means practice n practice!

In my perception,

         Fix your problem before you start !!

          All the very best to  run in your own track!!

"I always loved running…it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs" Jesse Owens (Track and field athlete).

Persuasion is an Art

 Persuasion is an Art

Words are powerful in the way we use. No matter how much you are  raising your voice but   matter is how you are constructing your words. In my view, persuasion is working  from born stage to grave stage. In this post ,I want to share some persuasion techniques with you all .

 Credible

Usually we don't put much attention to follow a diet  if our friend or relative suggest .But we will put much attention to follow when doctor prescribe a diet. That is credible.

                           Yes ;when you persuade someone about one thing, they will look at you what credit you have under the particular thing .It  is necessary to let them know about how much experience you have ,how much academic skills you have and how much you have prepared yourself to present and so on.

Highlight you are similar to them

  Once I happened to ask  my daughter why you like this friend more than other friends. She answered that we both like same color; we both like to read fiction books; we both like to play hide n seek'. I have laughed  at her answer. But really that is genuine answer. We like people who like what we like. According to ( Byrne psychologist ) 1966 experiment, high percentage of people want to be partner with similar liking people. If someone different from us , we don't listen to them much.

                         When we persuade people ,we should show them we are like you only. For example as a teacher when you persuade your students ,you could say  that I too faced the situation what you are facing now and so on.

You are free

We're a government that believes in everybody having the illusion of free will.”

― Anthony Burgess, The Wanting Seed

God doesn't want  about making good things  or bad things happen to you. He is giving you making choices;exercising the gift of free will. Everyone wants to lead our life by their own free will. Especially youth wants to use their free will. While persuading someone ,When you  include 'you have the free will to choose ' ,then  they might  get persuade more.

Giving reason while persuading 

People are generally better persuaded by the reasons which they have themselves discovered than by those which have come into the mind of others.”

― Blaise Pascal, (French Physicist)

From 3 year old child to big adults everyone will have the hunger of  'why'. That is wise hunger. So it is important to give logical reason while persuasion.

 Tips while giving reasons

Quantity or quality matters

 short and sweet reasons  will work  better in my view.That means, quality of one reason is work better than 10 unimportant reasons.

How to choose reason

 When you choose reason to give,you need to consider about what kind of the people they are.Are they individualistic or collective oriented .

Individualistic people

Individualistic people are focused on their own life success. They  don't much think about society. They will look for logic reasoning like research report, statistics,  analysis  and all .So we should give reasoning according to them while persuading.

Collective people

Collective people are focused about their family and the people around them too ;they might be emotional .They will look for how the results will affect their family ,society and all. So according to them you need to find the reasons.

                          For example when I was a teacher ,I had  nearly 70% collective students only. So I have given much importance to emotional reasons to my students. So analyze your audience before persuading them.

In my perception,

No matter how much you are raising your voice, matter is how you are constructing your words!