How to motivate kids

How to motivate Kids

One time, I went to conference with my kid's teacher to discuss about  her academic performance.That time I noticed that teacher told her 'You are a hard working student'.Then I had a question Why she appreciated her work not her intelligent.After a while I got an answer of my question.I would like to share my answer of 'Why praising their effort is better than praising their intelligence.

              Intelligence vs effort praise (Mueller Dweck,1998) research found that,

1.Effort praising students are showing high persistence  in their studies than intelligence praising kids.

Effort praising kids -5.5  points
intelligence praising kids-3 points

2.Effort praising kids have more willing to choose  challenging questions  than Intelligence praising kids

 Effort praising kids   -80%
intelligence praising kids-40%

3.Effort praising kids are more honest (in presenting score) than  Intelligence praising kids.

 Effort praising kids   -40%
intelligence praising kids-15%

              When we appreciate about their hard work ,they will get encouragement to keep on working. Nowadays I am appreciating my kid's hard working.

“Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard.” ― Kevin Durant (American NBA champion)

In my perception,
 Success is not only depend on your intelligence but how hard work you did .
All the very best for your achievements;Keep going.!

Find your diamonds

Find your  four diamonds

“Do not let the roles you play in life make you forget who you are.”― Roy T. Bennett (author of light in the heart)

  I have listened this story from Wharton school's professor  Richard Shell lecture(University of Penn) .This story gave me a  good guidance in my life .Once upon a time,one farmer lived in a small village  near to the river. One day a  big priest  came to his home.The priest felt happy because of his hospitality.So the priest said to him ,If you search   the rock ,you can find 4 diamonds under the water.After the Priest left his home, he sold his house to somebody .Then he went to all the rocks and big mountain to search the diamonds .He was started searching the diamond in  all the small to big mountains in the earth for 15 years.Finally he got so depressed, he killed himself.In the same time,the person who got his home went to his backyard to relax his mind . Then he found some thing glittering on the water under the small rock.He went and found the four diamonds.

 In the same way we are searching everywhere to find  your life meaning.But the truth is your life meaning is within you only.How to find the four diamonds within you?

Diamond 1

Go and find seed

We all have youthful interest or passion.Just go and look back at your 8 to 15 years  old time,ask yourself what you really enjoyed,what was the thing gave you excitement? you might ask your childhood friend and parents too.Go and find your own soul capacity of  seed which is hiding inside you for the opportunity to come out.The little seed need some water to bloom and it will become incredible powerful.

Diamond 2

Special aptitude and skill

You may go through skill assessment,career coach,career counseling where you can sense your special aptitude skill.When you find which skill you have most,then you can think how you will apply those skills in your career.Some people good at numbers,some other people good at words,some people good at making new relationship,some people good at problem solving,some people good at following rules,some people good at design new things.Go and find you are good at what.

Diamond 3

Accumulate your experience

What are the experience you got in your life.List out the experience you got as well as what you learned from those experience.Experience is the best teacher ever.So accumulate all the experience and make meaning to that work.

Diamond 4

Personality

“I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.” ―Mahatma Gandhi.Everyone personality is unique.All the characters are good .Are you introvert or extrovert character.What are the emotions you feel most.What are the virtues you have? define your personality in terms of your seed.Personalty could uplift one person.Beauty might attract people but good personality make connection with people.

Exercise

Take a small piece of paper and write it down according to the four diamonds,What is your youth interests,what are the skills you have, what are the experience you got and what kind of personality you are.Keep this paper with you.This paper reminds you who you are ,what is your heart,what is your mind and what is your memory.

In my perception,

Live your life in the way of who you are.

All the very best for your own unique way!

Intelligence

Intelligence

The real sign of  intelligence  is  not just answering the question or knowledge but it is asking question in a new way or imagining new thing.Intelligence is the key of your dream..
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” -Albert Einstein

             Intelligence is making unexpected things from expected things.According to psychologist ,there are 6 kinds of Intelligence.

Crystallized intelligence
This intelligence involves simply learning ,remembering and recalling when you need it.Simply it is a knowledge.As we age and accumulate new knowledge and understanding, crystallized intelligence becomes stronger.We Can gather this kind of intelligence anywhere,anyway and at any age.No age limit to learn.

Fluid intelligence
Fluid intelligence is the  ability of think abstractly, reasoning, identifying patterns, solving  problems, and discerning  relationships. Fluid intelligence peaks in adolescence age or teenage and it  starts  to decline progressively from age 40.

Practical intelligence
Practical Intelligence is the knowledge acquired doing everyday activities through various means. This knowledge cannot be imparted. It is the art of doing the right thing and the right time , or saying the right thing ant the right time to the right person, or applying the right knowledge at the right time.Simply behave depends on experience or common sense.

Analytical Intelligence
Analytical intelligence includes academic tasks, problem-solving abilities, and abstract reasoning. Whenever you have to complete a task that requires you to compare, contrast, evaluate, analyze, or make a logical judgment, you are using analytical intelligence.

Emotional intelligence
It is the capacity of identifying their own emotion and other people emotion and the ability discriminate the different kind of emotion and the power how to use the emotion to shape their life.

Creativity
he capacity to generate or form unique work, concepts, methods, or ideas.creativity might sparked by conversation with others.In order to be creative, you need to be able to view things in new ways or from a different perspective. Among other things, you need to be able to generate new possibilities or new alternatives.

Note

⦁ Learning has no age limit       
⦁ We need all kind of intelligence throughout your life.
⦁ When we overuse crystallized intelligence,then we will loose the power of fluid intelligence.

In my perception,

No matter how much you memorized ,matter is how you are applying those thing in life!.

All the very best for making new matters; no matter what is your age.

Reference
The book of Psychology ;Open stax college; Rice University

Memory is incredible one

Memory is Incredible One

One of my friend got a  small tumor in her brain.So she was not able to remember any names at all  until her surgery to remove the tumor. She struggled a lot those period.I recognized that Our life survival mainly depends on our life.Without memory of past we might  not live today easily .Without memory  we can not remember who I am ,who you are ,who they are,what is dangerous,what to eat,how to ask  so on.Memory is the main thing in learning.

Memory is more indelible than ink.” 
― Anita Loos (American script writer)

“Memory is the means by which we draw on our past experiences in order to use this information in the present’ (Sternberg, 1999).(Psychologist)

                                             I would like to share about how information are stored in brain. Our brain has 3 kind of stage to store data.

A. Sensory Storage 
 Very initial storage where information store in faction of seconds only .Here it store the information as it is.the immediate, initial recording of sensory information.Visual image store for a 1/4 s,audible information store for a 3s.
                       When we receive information from sensing part (eye,ear) our brain will compare those information according  to long term memory to find a match for this new information. One more main thing is our perception.For example,If you consider it is important then it will pass to next stage of memory otherwise just it will go off.

Short term memory
It is a limited capacity storage where information store for 20s to 30s.for example your friend is telling some number to you to call 87634551289.As I mentioned short term storage has less storage,so it remember 1st two numbers  (87)and last two numbers(89) and it will push out in between numbers.But when you do rehearsal that means practice those numbers then it will go in to long term memory.By practice we can send those information in to long term memory.
             When I teach new language or subject to my daughter,I will compare with what she known well then it will go easily to long term memory.

Long term memory
It is unlimited storage ans it can keep information for a long period.There are 3 kinds of memory.

procedural memory
     It stores our behaviour for example how to eat.

Semantic memory
 It sores general world  facts and knowledge.

Episodic memory
It stores events,people ,place.

In my perception,

Memory is incredibly one in our life.

Reference

The book of Psychology ;Open stax college; Rice University

Degree of Happiness

Degree of Happiness

Happiness is not something about future but it is the special design of your present. Happiness is choice of how you are taking  your situation.   Humans are pleasure  addicted .They will strive to get pleasure. When you buy a new car ,you might be happy for a month. When you win lottery you might be happy for 3 months .When you marry,you might be on exciting  for a year.According to psychology study,

 50% of happiness is depends on What is your heredity
40% of happiness is depends on What you are doing intentionally to make you happy.
10% of happiness depends on your life circumstances.

  If  I am happy means ,it doesn't mean I don't have any problems but I have the ability to face it. We can not measure happiness in terms of what you have like money and success. But it is solely defined by our own mind set. When I live in Chennai ,I felt 60 degree Fahrenheit is cold weather .But I felt the same temperature is warm weather when I stayed Minneapolis ,U.S.A. How  much you have happy is measured by you alone ;don't try to measure your happiness with others tool. Pains ,sadness and failures will help you to measure your happiness. We should think happiness is not our destination but make it as your journey.

I have the recipe to make happiness
Ingredients

1 cup positive emotion
1 cup optimism
1 cup  love
1 cup self respect
1/2 cup humor
2cup gratitude

Mix all together in the big bowl of family.And freeze it in a spirituality freezer.When you keep it in freezer ,it don't spoil ever.
                         You taste it
                                   share to others
                                                  you enjoy it.
In my perception,

Be happy and make other people to be happy

All the very best for your happy journey of life

                              

                                                                                   

Memory Retrieval

Memory Retrieval

"May you never forget what is worth remembering, nor ever remember what is best forgotten”
 Irish Blessings quotes

Remembering means retrieval from memory.It must be retrieved when information has been encoded and stored in memory.There are 4 basic ways to pull information from your long term memory.

Recall
Recall mean information from memory is accessible without clue.

Recollection
This is reconstruction type of retrieval.From example For example, writing an answer on an essay exam often involves remembering bits of information and then restructuring the remaining information based on these partial memories..

Recognition
This kind of retrieval based on identifying information after experiencing it again. For example answering multiple choice quiz that you recognize the correct answer out of a group of available answers.

Relearning
Once I taught my daughter Hindi .Because of some situation she didn't learn for a year.So I thought she can not retrieve it again.But she did.She catched again what I thought already.That means This type of memory retrieval involves relearning information that has been previously learned.

Tips for students while learning

1.Use elaborate rehearsal
   Rehearsal means not only practicing again and again but study deeply.When you study you understand or find the answer of why,what ,how which .Simply don't mug up.study with meaning.

Apply self reference effect
Write notes while reading books or listening lecture.Do comparison with your real fife that means put reference what you know well.
Be aware of interference
Be aware about what distortion will come and confuse your memory in the part of your learning.
Use mnemonic codes
You can use some acronyms  to remember big things.For example, bbroygreat brittan very good wife -this is the mnemonic code to identify the resistor value which I learned 12 years back.

Get enough sleep
Sleep will refresh your mind and body.It is good have a good sleep before exams.

Keep moving
walk and study make better learning method rather than sitting in one place for long time.

In my perception,

Doing  smart work (practice using mnemonic codes) is work better than keep on practicing (hard work)

All the very best to retrieve your best memories!

Reference
The book of Psychology ;Open stax college; Rice University

Leaders are managers and servants too

Leaders are managers and servants too!

"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."- Dwight D. Eisenhower (Ex-president of America)

The greatest leader is not  only making  the greatest things,but  making people to do the greatest things.Leaders knows the way to go and shows the way to people follow. Leaders  shines not only themselves but they make people to shine. 

 Leaders are different than the managers.Managers know how to manage things but leaders know how to influence people.  I would like to share about how leaders part is different than manager's. 
                                  .
⦁ When you’re a manager, you work for your company. When you’re a leader, your                        company works for you.
⦁ Leaders lead people;but managers manage things.
⦁ Leaders work for change;managers work for stability
⦁ Leaders focus on long term;managers focus on short term.
⦁ Leaders take new roads;managers find existing roads.
⦁ Leaders do the right things ;managers do the things right.

 Leadership without management is vision  without fulfillment.Good leaders should act as a managers too.

Leaders must be a servant 

If you are a servant you can understand what is best for the individual in the organization.It doesn't mean you are a slave to what they want.It means you are a servant to what they need.Heart of the leader manifested through service to others.Leaders are not served by others;but they are serving to others.They will talk for talk less people.People listen those who care them and who know them 

In my perception,

                Good leader must be manager as well as a good servant  too.

All the very best to practice as a good servant leader!

Loneliness vs Social

Loneliness vs Social

 Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.Solitude is a good time to have to find your inner being but not loneliness.Loneliness is a pain of heart.Walking with friends  in the wild dessert is much better than walking lonely in the beach. 

 The researchers found that train passengers who chat with others are happier than those who spend time  by their smart phone.Social people are more creative ,more healthier ,more productive, more coping with challenges,more resilience than lonely people.

Loneliness is  equal to 15 cigarettes and two times obesity.Lonely people are more affected by heart deceases rather than friends making people.Lonely people feel more stress which release cortisol Harmone to affect your sleep and appetite. But When you get relationship with other, your body release oxytocin hormone which reduce stress and improve your health.

Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I’m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me.—Anne Hathaway(American  famous singer)

We are social animals.We may stumble at any point of our life,that time you need comfort and need hands to console.

In my perception

Family, friends, people around me are giving  meaning in my life.

All the very best;Have a meaningful life!

                          

Secret Of Change

Secret Of Change

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything".-George Bernard Shaw (Irish political activist)

  Process is a systematic series of actions directed to achieve particular end.By following 4 steps and 4 T's ,we can implement  changes in  our  process.Change will not come through anyone,we should take steps to change.So lets go for the steps,

Step 1:Plan
Develope a plan to imrove the process

⦁ Write down the objective
⦁ Plan how to collect the data
⦁ Plan and find the answer of what,whare,when regarding the process .
                              eg. how carry out this plan
⦁ Write down prediction.

Step 2: Do
Execute the plan on small scale

⦁ Carry out plan in a small level
⦁ Document what you observed
⦁ Record the data result from the do step

Step 3  Study
Confirm or make adjustment

⦁ Analyse the data you got
⦁ Compare the data with your prediction
⦁ If you are ok with the result then confirm those plans to do .
⦁ If you are not satisfied with that,find what kind of adjustment needed to implement.

Step 4 :Act

⦁ Implement the plan if you confirmed .
⦁ Implement the plan in small scale if you made adjustment again.

4T

⦁ Time -Give enough time to implement the plan.Not too hurry while implementing new things.
⦁ Tools-Make  having enough tool or resources to implement the new change
⦁ Training - Analyse how carry out thae plan,take enough training if you need.
⦁ Trust - Once you got training and ready ,then show in your action.

In my perception,

Secret of change is not worrying about old things,but creating new things in a new way.

All the very best for your new change !

Secret Of Change

I Can!

 I can give public speaking  doesn't mean I Don't have a fear to speak but I am going to conquer the fear.That is self confident.Don’t let mental blocks control you. Set yourself free. Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.”.Success is a mathematical linear equation of' I can'.If I believe I can ,then I can do it.If u think I can't then you can't make it.If have the self confident of ' I can' ,then knowledge you can gather.Skill you can practice.So what all we need is self confident.We might use "i can" ,in 3 kind of way to show our capacity.

I can't  - No self confident
I can   - Self confident
I am the one can  - Over confident or arrogant  
    
Self confident is not about what you have ,what you posses or not what you wear.But it is about what you have inside.Mahatma Gandhi said "Nobody can take your self respect unless you are willing to give them.Don't let anyone to define about you ; be as who you are.                               
We will do what we are done always.We will get what you have always got.But Do you want what you never had? It is fine to get fail.Fail give just sad for a while but give up make you bad ever.When you say I can do this project it means  you already done your half way of your project that time itself.Don't give up;Keep going.

  “The bird dares to break the shell, then the shell breaks open and the bird can fly openly. This is the simplest principle of success. You dream, you dare and and you fly.” 
― Israelmore Ayivor(Inspirational writer)

In my perception,

No matter how much physics you have without self confident;but matter is how much you have self confident to get success.

All the very best;Don't give up;Keep going.

How to fix the situation

How to fix the situation 

We always look for a comfort zone.We love familiar things no matter how bad it is.  Because familiarity gives double efficient output than unfamiliar things.But to have  unfamiliar things is good to learn new life skills.

“Keep your innocence and ignorance aside, and expose yourself to dangerous situations, and understand the deeper secrets of life.” - Michael Bassey Johnson (philosopher)

We need to  to figure out the tough  situation before you face it..We can segregate the situation in to four parts under the discipline of familiarity and importance.

1.Important and familiar 
2.Familiar and not important
3.Unfamiliar and not important
4.Important and unfamiliar

The fourth category is the important category in that  we  need special attention.

  For Example when you join in a new project team or new company,you will face many unfamiliar things but those are much important in your career .Having a good communication skill helps a lot in those times.We need to convey how our skills cope up with this project.We should try to figure out  the basic structure of project and what is your part will be  . Be clear  about your own working thoughts.Then You can communicate with the people with confident and efficiently.

In my perception,

Having unfamiliar things are good to  grow in our skills.

All the very best for your growing; Keep growing!

Feel Your Feeling of Happy!

                         Feel Your Feeling of  Happy!

"One filled with joy preaches without preaching". -Mother Teresa

 Happiness is accepting what it is.When we put our goal in terms of wealth,fame and status,we might loose our real happiness .Happiness is a feeling,you could not feel it when you run behind those things. I would like to share 4 kinds of rules to feel  your happy feelings.

1.Seek financial security not wealth
 When our intention is to become a wealthy person,then we may loose our happiness. We need money in our life to take care of our well being and family well being.We can create secured life using money .In the same time we should not become a greedy of money .When we run behind wealth we may lose our life happiness.We can not measure happiness in terms of money or what you are possessing.

2.Seek respect not fame
 When we will become a  stepping stone to other people ,then they will give respect towards us in their heart.We should be useful or helpful to others that makes our life meaningful.In my view You are worthily for 10 people is better than you are famous among 1000.

3.Seek responsible role not status
  When you are trying hard to show your high status,you may loose your life satisfaction. But when you take responsible roles in  the society which give true joy in your heart. Responsiveness is much different than the status.

Seek friends of virtue not shallow relationship
 Friends of virtue are really care about you and they will strengthen you when you will become low. In my view 10 friends of virtue is bigger than  1000s of knowing people.

In my perception,

    Happiness is a by-product of an your work to make someone else happy. 

              All the very best to feel your feelings!

Gain Your Energy Back!

                                   Gain Your Energy Back!

                "The harder you fall, the heavier your heart; the heavier your heart, the stronger you climb; the stronger you climb, the higher your pedestal. You take a crash, you get back up and next time you succeed and that's a great feeling."-Criss Jami  (existentialist philosopher)

Sometime falling  is good to understand where we are. We can recognize about who we are when we get broken. Falling is not a falling but real falling  is when you refuse to get up. Quitters never wins; winners never quit. Falling and getting up  only give success. yes. . Falling should not stop you  but you have to rise up with new energy.I  would like to share  some ideas how to getting up again when you fall.How to get  recharge your soul,mind and brain.

1.Find your own metaphor
 According to grammerly.com, a metaphor is a figure of speech that describes an object or an action in a way that isn't literally true, but helps explain an idea or make a comparison.

 We can use metaphor to motivate our self or to convince our self to run forward to reach your destination. Some people use butterfly ,marathon race,stone in water,flute,river ,story,parachute and etc. My metaphor is butterfly. I would like to share my metaphor.

        Butterfly
             In my view,Butterfly giving meaning of  move from one state to other and be ready to learn and give way to change until  you become beautiful or worthily to others. Butterfly metaphor teaches me all changes might give force to grow but don't fear it. Use the change as a tool to get empower. Life  is not a resting ,but only moving from one cycle to other.Keep moving!

2.Find friends of virtue
 " A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeable." (William Penn)

 Have true friends who will encourage you to rise when you fall. True friend will remind you who you are, what are the talents you have. Good to have some friends of virtue(true friends) rather than 1000s of friends of pleasure.

3.Review the source of self confidence
  Remember or talk with people who gave you motivation in your life.If they are in reachable distance,you may go and meet to get your energy back. You can keep an object which one is remind you or push you towards your goal.

"You take a crash, you get back up and next time you succeed and that's a great feeling".
Shaun White.(American gold medalist)

In my perception,

No matter how you fell down, but how long you take to get up is matter to reach your destination.

All the very best for getting up with new energy!

Our personal diary

                                                  Our personal diary

We do not remember some days days but we will remember a  moments in our life. Memory is like a diary of one person. Memory  is the way of holding things what you love most.

“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche (German philosopher)


Forgetting things are not good but it is good to have forget bad memories .But to develop gratitude ,forgetting doesn't help at all.  Now I want to give 3 reasons why we are forgetting what we learned ,what have done and where we did and all.

perception
When you think it is important in your life ,then it will store in long term memory. Forgetting  is not an accident at all the time. But  forgetting are depends on your perception or how much you  are giving value to  those information .That is the reason some time wife is getting angry with the husband when he forget  her birthday(just kidding).But really when you give value to one information ,then we don't forget those info..For example ,Students remember When teacher says , It is important question for final  exam.

Practice
Because of our  practise, the information move  from temporary memory to permanent memory.For example when you read a lesson one time alone  is not enough to remember for long period but when you read it again n again, it stay long  period in your memory.Less practice make you to forget.

Confusing
 Onetime  my daughter 's teacher taught her fraction addition in one way.After some days,I taught her the same  in other way .So she got confuse and she struggled to remember those.Yes,my way distorted her memory of fraction.This kind of forgetting is more applicable to kids.

Schema    
 I asked my daughter to listen following words,
spoon,cup,vessel,oven,light,pan,knife,mixer.
Then I asked her,  Did I say light ;she said, No.Because her mind got set all are kitchen things..When we forget something because of nature of information that means  if is very new ,we might forget and our brain need some more time to find relevant data in its memory to cope up with new info.

Memory enhancing strategies

Rehearsal
 As I mentioned above, practice practice and practice makes success to keep remember.For example learning table .

Organizing
 Organize the information to keep in memory. You can organize information in your well known pattern of alphabetical order,counting order and so on.

Mnemonic device.
 It is simply tricks. For example we will use our hands to remember days of the month.

Expressive
 I used this method more to teach my daughter.Give action to what you are studying. For example,bird mean I will show her flying action.When we do action ,it improves to store in long term memory.

 Read louder technique helped a lot when I was studying elementary to junior high school.Reading louder is  the one kind of expressive technique.

In my perception,

Memory has the power to change a moment in to days and days in to moment according to their own perception.

             All the best to have a nice memories!
\

Reference

The book of Psychology ;Open stax college; Rice University

Work first ; People always

                                        Work first ; People always

Process mean by which people ,tools, methods, plans or procedure  are integrated to produce end result.
                while integrating ,some leaders may give much importance to people ;some may give importance to process.



Process focused Leaders
⦁  This kind of leaders believe followers need direction of each small step too. So they will do macro management.
⦁ They don't consider much  about people happiness.
⦁ For example, Giving no permission to take one day leave for his son graduation day, when employee ask for.

                  The people under this kind of leaders will get frustration about their job.

People focused leaders

•  They believe individual needs are important than  oganization one's
•  People happiness may give organization success.
•   Giving  permission to take one day leave for his son graduation day ,when employee ask for.
• Followers happiness may not equate with self esteem all the time. Some time followers loose their self esteem too.                   

                     We can not separate people and process.

Dual focus 
        It means nothing but Process first;people always.
⦁  Dual focus means be flexible with people but expect completion and self esteem.
⦁ Leaders should guide them but make followers to understand how your work is important to the organization. Leaders should describe the task and expected result from them.
⦁ Leaders should consider followers ideas.
⦁ When employee asking for one day leave ,leaders will give permission but also remind him you need to finish those work too.

In my perception,

When you stick with the concept of process first people always, then we could improve productivity and people's happiness too.

All the very best for to improve your process using dual focus!

Followers vs leaders

                                      Followers vs leaders

“You can be in your room and lead people. Just develop your potentials and publicize them and you will see people looking for your product. That is influence; self-made leaders do not look for followers. Followers look for them. Self-leaders are still true leaders even if they have no known followers. True leaders inspire by the influence of their characters and general self-made brands. Leadership is defined by the virtues of one's behaviour.” 
Israelmore Avior-(Motivational speaker)




How leaders are different than followers

⦁    followers looks for the leaders to get the information. But leaders will go and seek information from everywhere possible.
⦁ Followers could understand the things what  taught by leaders. But Leaders go themselves and get clarification regarding their understanding.
⦁ Followers believe the principle what taught by leaders. But Leaders will test the principle what they collected.
⦁ Followers put in to action what leaders commanded. Leaders will inspire the followers by their action.
⦁ Followers work according to their brain. But Leader does according to their brain and heart.

In my perception,

A good leader should be a follower of people thoughts.

All the very best to be a good leader !

Do you wish pleasure or Joy?

Do you wish pleasure or Joy?     

      

One weekend , I went to movie hall as a family .Really I enjoyed the movie time with popcorn ,cool drinks and all. It is fun. I felt happy .Then we came back home and we slept at the night. Then next day, I wake up ,I have done my usual routine. I didn't remember much about  my fun time(movie time) .

 Another weekend I got a phone call from my friend who has 2 month old baby .She said that she became sick and her family people are out of town for their work. So  I went  to her home and cooked some food for her and took care of her baby .Then I came back home. I felt  little tired .I slept at the night. Then next day,I have done my usual routine with the happy of fulfillment..That happy  is not same as  the happy of watching movie  but some thing more than that. What  is that? 

  Yes .In my life I have recognized three kinds of happiness.

Spot time happiness
  When I eat my favorite cake, I feel happy. I will enjoy and eat. At that moment it gives some happy. This happy depends on people and mood. This happiness might be vary with respect to the genetic happiness level.

Satisfaction happiness
 When I bake cake for my family  and When my kids said 'Amma your cake is awesome'  then I feel satisfactory happiness. That is really different than the spot time happiness.

Deep happiness
 Once I baked cake to give homeless people .That time I felt one kind of happy feeling from inside .That is Deep Happiness. This is real Joy. This not temporary. No one can take our joy without our permission.

Joy is the beautiful of life. When our mind is filled with love then joy will follow us like our shadow. Joy is love ,kind,  patient ,strength, fuel. We could find our joy in our home, work  and our  society. When  you give happiness to others ,god will you gift of joy. Our  life will be straightened by the curve of smile.

In my perception,

When you give happiness to others, then  god will you the gift of joy.

All the very best for getting god's gift!

Time to Think: How you are spending your most of the time to get joy or happy of pleasure?

Change your signature in to autograph!

Change your signature in to autograph!

Commitment is what transform in to reality.-Abraham Lincoln.

                  Commitment is the one changing your signature in to autograph. Commitment is making you to become more valuable. Our  wishes comes true when it transform in to your commitment. Without commitment your skills can do  nothing;but skill plus commitment can do everything.

  I have heard this  story from the video lecture of Jhon A.Kline ,Troy University.One time hen and pig went to market place just for roaming from their farm. They saw the restaurant notice of  per egg omelette  and ham burger is $7.After seeing this notice, hen  felt that excitement about its involvement but pig felt that  it is my commitment .
  Yes; Commitment is not a word but it is an action to reach your goal.Achievements are not an accident but commitment of work worth courage ,excellence ,Intelligence. When you apply commitment in your dream, then  it will become true.Failure happens  not because of  your lack intelligence, but  lack of commitment.

In my perception,


The word of promise change in to real by the action of commitment.

All the very best to succeed in your promises!

What is controlling you?

What is controlling you? 

  What is controlling you? Is thoughts taking control over you ? or Are you controlling your thoughts?  Your thoughts have the power to control in your characters , your emotions, and  your  perception about the world that surrounds us. If you are  constantly re-thinking about what you think of on your daily activities , then you can be better in  wisdom, truth, understanding, love, and you should be worthful to others too. So  processing information is matter to apply.

 Cognitive psychology means how people process the information. That  means how we process the information we receive. Simply how we are processing the input stimulus to introduce  the output of response.

  Our brain process the info in terms of  grouping .That means events, place and people that is used to understand what kind of the things are. If I say think of dog means ,your brain evoke the characteristics of dog like it has 4 legs ,barking, 1 tail, color and etc.   So brain make concepts by using what information it got. There  are 4 kind of concepts.

Natural concepts
  Natural concepts are the mental representations of things or place  that are found in nature or they are mental representations of objects drawn from our direct experience. The idea that all  sheeps are furry and have four legs is a natural concept. An artificial concept is based on specific rules.

Artificial concepts 
 An artificial concept is based on specific rules. Learning about area of the square is basic thing to learn about other shapes . Artificial concepts will  enhance the understanding of a topic by building on one another.

Schema
  Schema  concept that helps organize and interpret information. It helps a person what to expect from the variety of situation.brain store information from life experience in terms of schema concept for easy to navigate. For example you routine work and habits.

In my perception,

No matter what is the concepts of next one's brain ;It is matter what is your own brain's concept to survive your life.

All the very best for take control of your thoughts!


Reference
The book of Psychology ;Open stax college; Rice University

Keep looking for What is next !

Keep looking for What is next !

"If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail". Abraham Maslow (Psychologist)          
                         
In this earth some people are putting more effort to get their one time food in the same time some people are spending  or putting the effort to get digestion of those foods. poverty  people are suffering everyday to get one time food and water. But rich people are not getting satisfaction because of the flavor of what they want. It is as necessary for man to live in beauty rather than ugliness as it is necessary for him to have food for an aching belly or rest for a weary body. to the Theory of Human Motivation, the American psychologist Abraham Maslow classified 5 kind of needs form basic needs to higher end needs. There are Physical needs, safety  needs ,social  needs, need for ego and self actualization needs. When people get the physical needs ,then only they will think about next needs. Because  without water and food, we can not even live When we  fulfilled the first set of need, then we will strive to get next level of needs. yes; life is not a resting just keep moving.

1, physiological needs
   To survive in the earth as a human ,We need the basic of air to breath, food to eat ,water to drink .This needs is called deficiency needs. Once  they fulfilled by this basic things then people will look for what is next. With hungry we can not even think what to do. In some countries people are struggling to get their one time food.
“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”
― Mahatma Gandhi (Leader of India)

2.Safety needs
    Once people get basic needs ,they will look for safety needs. Safety  needs is nothing but a shelter or house. People  will strive to get one small shelter when weather change badly to save their life.
One had to build shelters. One had to make pockets and live inside them.” ― Lorrie Moore, Like Life .

3.Social Needs  
 Once they get food and house,they will look for relationship.We will get more happy when we eat the food with family ,friends or your loved ones rather than eating alone.Our life become warmth when we are loved by someone.
A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.-- George Moore

4.Needs of ego
   Needs of ego means self identity. People  need to find who they are, what  is their identity .yes, Once they fulfilled their social need ,they want to get recognition among their society. They  will start to compare with other people and they will put effort to reach prestigious  value.
                To me, self-esteem is not self-love. It is self-acknowledgment, as in recognizing and accepting who you are. Amity Gaige (American novelist)

5.Self actualization
 Once they get recognition in society ,they will go for the higher end level of self actualization. After  they get recognition in the earth ,they will work to reach  eternal life that means they will look for the meaning of their life or purpose of their life. i.e, morality, creativity, inner peace and etc. Simple  once they get recognition,  they  will work for others recognition too. What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization. 

What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. -Abraham Maslow(Psychologost)

In my perception,

     Life is keep looking for  what is next!

   All the best to take your next step!



Reference
    The book of Psychology ;Open stax college; Rice University

ok! ok! state

ok! ok! state

“How often you impress people when you have nothing and how often you oppress them when you have everything is what defines your real character!” ― Israelmore Ayivor, Daily Drive 365 (Motivational speaker)

 Self confident  and confident about other's work both are important in our life journey. According  to the confident, we could figure out 4 kinds of state people. It is Ok to figure out people according to their okies.

State 1
you are ok; I am not Ok 
 This state people always thinks others are  better than  us. They  will seek help always from other people. They  will have less self confident. They  don't try new things. They will go for a comfort zone only all the time.

State 2
I am Ok: You are not ok  
This state people are over confident people. They  don't share the opportunities. They want to possess everything for themselves. They will be lacking  in team work. They  always figure out people negatives only. This  kind of people do macro management.

State 3
I am not OK; You  are  not OK
This state people are kind of pessimist people. They  don't try new things even they don't let other people to try . They don't find their happiness much in any situation.They could not finish their goal because of their hopelessness.

State 4
I am Ok. you are OK
 This state people are optimist. They  believe everyone is special ;each one is unique. They will respect others view like their view. They will be happy in all the situation. They will be a good leaders ,good motivators. They know well how to appretiate people's beautiness.

Time to Think
                      Analyse yoursef and find which state you are in. Which state do you want to move in your life?

                    All the best!

Perception

Perception

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” Robertson Davies
(Canadian  novelist)

Perception is my favorite topic.  Each  people's  perception is unique . Even each thing's perception is different  for each  person.

  When you are  talking with your friend in a interesting topics, you don't aware of what song played during the time. Yes, your ear are hearing those songs but not listening because of perception .Perception make the difference e between and hearing and listening. Your ear has the ability to receive clock tick sound from 20 feet away .

“The more I see, the less I know for sure.” John Lennon (English song writer)
“Humans see what they want to see.”  Rick Riordan, (American Writer)

   Our eyes have the capacity of detecting candle light from 20 feet away. We are not seeing things which is visible because of our less perception. Perception is kind of motivation. If you want to hear that  what your husband is talking by phone means anyway you hear it. Perception depends on our own mindset.Not only seeing and hearing things according to the perception ,but  our happiness, success, pain, emotions and all. How you are tuning your perception by your experience only matter to make your day is awesome.

In my perception,

            Perception is not a common fact but unique way of  fact.

Persuation key

Persuation key 

Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion 
Philosopher Aristotle

 Words are free  but powerful  ;  yes persuasion words are powerful word of art.  I have learned  one top persuasion key from Dr.Andyl uttel ,professor of social psychology in Ball state University, U.S.A. I would like to share that key here .

 All human needs reason and resolution. From  small child to big adults ask 'why'. Intelligence is not getting knowledge but asking why. Galilio's why made the answer of gravity. Many people's why made this world become  powerful in science. Why has the power  to create. The answer of why starts by because. That is the reason 'Because' became more  powerful persuasion key  .

 In 1978, researcher did the experiment of 'how because works'i.e.What  kind of requesting words  works better to give way  in the line to take photo copy.

case1 : Excuse me. I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine? — 60%  of people give way in the line to take photocopy.
 case 2:Excuse me. I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make some copies? — 93% of people give way in the line to take photocopy.
 Case 3:Excuse me. I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush? — 94 of people give way in the line to take photocopy.

 According to this experiment ,using because word convinced people to give way in the  line to take more copies. When we give reasoning while asking makes better result to persuade people. Use because  when you need to persuade people because 'because 'is  the powerful free word.

In my perception,

As much as use the word because ,it makes you win over people .

All the very best to win people in love and reasoning!.


Reference
Video Lecture by Dr.Andy Luttrell,Ball University,U.S.A
    

Pampering is good

Pampering is good 

A father's goodness is not lesser than the mountain, a mother's goodness is deeper than the sea. I understood about my parents love 100% when I become a parent. They will love me when I become low and when I score high too..

They are making ready us to face future. Yes, they are practicing us to get ready for the future when we are young. Among the many practices, one of the practice is separation for starting preschool .According to kids behaviour on those separation period, psychologist are classified 4 kind of attachment.

Secure attachment
Some  kids will cry for some time because of missing their parent but after some time, they will get distract themself after seeing their peers. This cry will go off after some more days, then they will say bye happily. Wow! .What a Good experience .

 Avoidant attachment.
 Some kids don't cry and even they will be happy to get separate from parents. Those kind of attachment is avoidant attachment. They  don't mind about separation time in starting period of their school.

Resistant attachment
 Some kids will cry more and more and even after when their parents came back to pick them. It will be difficult to comfort those kids. Psychologist  is saying that is inconsistent care giving or unlimited pampering.

Disorganized  attachment
 Some kids will run away once the parent come to pick .This attachment is disorganized attachment.
 yes, Pampering is the better way to show your love to boost their self confident. .But how much you are pampering? Is Less pampering? or Balanced  pampering ? or too much pampering?

In my perception,
Pampering is good to give confident but too much pampering is not.

All the very best to raise confident kids.

Time to Think : What is your level of pampering?



Reference
The book of Psychology ;Open stax college; Rice University

The age of blooming

The age of blooming

Adolescence represent an inner emotional upheaval,a struggle between a eternal human wish to cling to the past and the equally powerful wish to get on with future.
Louise j.kaplan - American Reputed Psychologist  

 Adolescents stage is the transition period between childhood stage and adulthood stage. In some cultures,  adolescence is  meant by  with their puberty and the change of physical appearance. In some other culture adolescence meant by the word of teen age or teens ;age from 12 to 19.  In this stage they will change rapid growth in physically, mentally and socially too.

Physical development
 The main change is biological change of puberty .Because of hormonal change ,girls will increase their height rapidly in the age of 8 to 13.They reach adult height between the age 10 to 16.But boys will increase their height  in the age of 13 to 17.

Mental development
                       Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.” ― Earl Wilson (American reputed author)  
In this stage ,their frontal lobe and  creative intelligence will get bloom. They will have the authority of questioning. They  will get empathy feeling at 13 for girls and 15 for boys .They want to prove their identity. They will look for a logic reasoning in all the things. They will have some conflicts with their parents too. This the age to grow not only physically but to know who you are.

In my perception,

Teens are not  fighting for freedom but fighting to find who you are.
.
  All the very best tenner's for your fighting of finding who you are!

What is the layer u r in !

  What is the layer u r in !

Each person wants to lead a success life. Success is not an accident.. But  behind the each success ,there are many failures, hard  work ,perseverance, sacrifice  and learning .When you put soul, mind body in to action, it makes magic of success. There are 3 kinds of success ,I have learned from online video lecture about success ,Wharton school (University of Pennsylvania)

Outer layer success people
Some people  will spend their whole time  for how to become famous or  how to reach highest position in their career.Even though  they have got  wealth , status  and  fame , but  they will feel some emptiness in their heart  personally.

Because of their busy schedule ,they don't spent quality of time with family and they don't even think about much. After reaching their destination they will have  more hands to clap but no more hands to give  hug to  consoling their heart. This kind of success is success of outer layer. All kind of success doesn't give happiness. They will get success. But they can not enjoy it.

Inner layer success people

Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”
― Albert Einstein

Success man means is not only to get in to the great position. But when you  win the life obstacles (poverty) of peace  for  your family to get peace  ,then you are a success man .In my village I have noticed more people .They might not have more money ,not have a fame  but they seems to be very happy  all the time. They are satisfied with what they have. Their inner heart will be rejoicing about their family and their society. They don't earn much money but enough money to survive; they  don't become fame but got respect among their people. They measure their success in terms of positive emotions. They might not get hands of claps but they will get hands to hug to console them.This  is inner layer success..

Integrated success
 Integrated success people are  the  people  who achieve success  in  the inner  life as  well  as  outer life  too. They  are also  running  towards their  achievement but  taking  their family  along.  They are  mostly optimistic  people and  they  know well  how to balance  their family time  and career  time.They understand that we need  a lap to take relax after their running.They will run towards goal and they will stop  for a while to gain their energy to run again by love of family.They might fall down but  they will get up with new energy. They have understood about what is real success .Real success is not, like, materialistic. It's being where you want to be when you want to be; just living your life how you feel; having an ultimate goal and being able to accomplish it.They will have the both.( hands of clap and hand to hug to console) .

In my perception,

Run ,run towards your target  but take your family along .

All the very best to enjoy your running!

Time to Think: What is the layer you are in?

People around you are important!

People around you are important!

                 Last week   My neighbor asked me that Why you are calling your younger daughter as good girl and sharing girl like that .I replied my neighbor that I want her to be a good girl, so that I am calling her good girl .yes;Your word might be the seed for one's success or failure. As a social animal of human, we are interdependent on those who around us. Other people's thoughts ,words, expectation  might influence one's behaviour and attitude.  I would like to share with you three psychology experiments to prove that people around you are influencing you which I learned from  the video of Foundation of social psychology  by Dr.Andy luttrel ,professor of social psychology  in Ball state University, U.S.A .

Experiment 1
Influenced by other's thoughts  
 For a research purpose ,a group of randomly chosen kids were named as a intelligent kids .At the starting of academic year ,the researcher gave the name list of randomly chosen kids as a intelligent kids to the class teacher .They found  that the randomly chosen kids scored high marks compare to the other kids in all the subject at the end of year exam. Teacher  belief is selected kids are really intelligence kids (she don't know they are randomly chosen). so  she treated or handled them in a manner made the normal kids become a really  intelligent kids. What teacher's thought (they are intelligent) influenced kids to become really intelligent kids.

Experiment 2
Influenced by other's words
Two groups of people 's brain are scanned by a scanned machine to find how much happiness they are feeling. For  a research purpose Scanner gave them to drink  a small quantity of wine as well as scanner told to them what kind of wine of wine they are drinking.
Experiment 1:Scanner gave costly wine but he told it is a cheap wine.
Experiment 2:Scanner gave cheap cost wine but he told it is a costlier wine.

 They detected higher happiness signal at experiment 2 than experiment by scanning machine. That means what scanner said is influenced them to get high signal rather what they drank really.

Experiment 3Influenced by other's thoughts   
  Person A's expectation is B's behavior  is friendly. So  person A started to approach person B with friendly manner. So that Person B responded in a friendly way. Thus  person  A 's expectation influenced person B's behavior.

People around you are influencing directly or indirectly  to shape you or mess up you. Family ,friends, society  are influencing  you to have a good  attitude. I am also strongly agree with the words of famous American musician that  I would like to be remembered as a man who had a wonderful time living life, a man who had good friends, fine family - and I don't think I could ask for anything more than that, actually.

In my perception,

  No matter what material(money) you have around you, but the people around you are matter in your life!
Be thankful to your family, teacher, friends! 

           All the very best to make better influence on others life!

Listen What your pain is telling U!

Listen What your pain is telling U!

“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain”
 William Faulkner , (Nobel Prize for Literature in 1949, 1897-1962).

                    One day I have started to teach a new language to my daughter. She  said that" Oh I don't want to learn this language, It is painful". I told her "yes, this  might be painful but this pain is telling  that you need more practice to learn and  it is not telling you "Don't study any more".She got my point and she put more time to practice . Finally she is Reading and writing beautifully .yes Behind all the beautiful, pain is there. 

 We can use the pain as a fuel for your life journey. Pain is the secret of success  .If we reject pain ,we are rejecting our life .Listen to your pain ,it gives you wisdom. Pain is part of your life like pleasure. In my view God is shouting  me by using pain to take next step of my life .Pain made me stronger.

I love this poem
Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In my perception,

You use the pain don't let pain use you

All the best to listen from your pain!